GAMES FOR COUPLES THERAPY
Assign exercises to do at home between sessions with a link: no accounts and no data from your clients. They do them on their phone and bring you their session sheet.
Assign by link
You choose the game, level and limits; the link carries no personal data.
Everything on their phone
Their answers stay on their device. ViveLaVita receives nothing.
Session sheet
Each person answers on their own and brings or sends you their sheet.
Exercise generator
Set up the exercise and share the link or QR code with your client.
Clinical content under review by Rocío Moñino.
Multi-week plans
Exercise sequences with clear criteria for moving on. You decide the step.
Communication plan for couples
Four weeks to talk, listen and say what you want · 4 weeks
Rekindling desire as a couple
Six weeks of sensate focus, with no rush and no pressure · 6 weeks
Intimacy in a long-distance relationship
Three weeks to feel close even when you're far apart · 3 weeks
Getting to know your body and your partner's
Two weeks to discover what you enjoy · 2 weeks
Tests to bring to the session
Short profile and couple tests. Your client takes them on their phone and brings you a sheet with their map. With your assignment, answers are not stored anywhere. They are material for conversation, not a clinical assessment.
Your desire map
What turns you on?
Your exploration profile
How do you connect sexually?
Couple compatibility test
Guides by game
Goal, when to use it and when not to, and how to work with it in session.
Questions for couples
Goal
Opens structured conversations about the relationship, intimacy and desires, using a turn-taking format that eases the pressure of raising topics out of the blue. Useful for practising listening and emotional expression between sessions.
Indicated
- Couples whose communication has become thin or revolves around day-to-day logistics.
- When it is hard to start talking about sexuality and a neutral starting point is needed.
- To practise active listening and validation outside the therapy room.
- As a reconnection task after a period of emotional distance.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Active conflict or frequent escalation: the questions can turn into ammunition; work on regulation in session first.
- Control, coercion or violence in the relationship: joint exercises should not be assigned.
- With caution after a recent affair or in the middle of a crisis of trust: limit to the Mild level and to appreciation questions.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign two or three 20-30 minute slots a week, screen-free and at an unhurried time.
- Agree on the turn-taking rule in session: one person answers, the other listens without interrupting and sums up what they understood before replying.
- Start at the Mild level and only move up when both partners suggest it.
- Ask them to note one answer that surprised them and one that was hard to hear, and bring both to the session.
For the next session
- Which of your partner's answers surprised you or taught you something new?
- At what moment did you feel heard, and when did you not?
- Was there a question you chose to skip? What do you think held you back?
Yes / No / Maybe
Goal
Lets partners explore sexual preferences privately and safely: each person marks Yes, No or Maybe, and only the matches are revealed, never the noes. Reduces fear of rejection and offers a shared map of interests.
Indicated
- Couples who find it hard to put desires into words out of shame or fear of judging or being judged.
- Desire discrepancies where it helps to find common ground before negotiating.
- To broaden the erotic repertoire consensually.
Use with caution or not indicated
- When one partner is pressuring the other to accept certain practices: a “maybe” may be experienced as a commitment.
- Unprocessed sexual trauma: some items may trigger memories; assess in session first.
- Active conflict or intense mistrust: the matches may be read as concessions or reproaches.
How to assign and work with it
- Ask each person to complete the list separately, without looking at or asking about the other's answers.
- Remind them in session that a “yes” or a “maybe” commits them to nothing and can be changed at any time.
- Review only the matches together and choose one or two to talk about, not to try straight away.
- Explore in session how to talk about a “maybe”: what conditions or limits would make it feel more comfortable.
For the next session
- How did you feel when you saw the matches?
- Was there a “maybe” you would like to explore, and under what conditions?
- Did you find it easy to respect the privacy of each other's answers?
Truth or dare
Goal
Brings play, humour and self-disclosure into the relationship through truth questions and short dares. Helps break routine and talk about desire in a playful tone.
Indicated
- Stable couples with good communication who have lost the playful side.
- When sexuality is approached with solemnity or excessive seriousness.
- To practise saying “pass” calmly and accepting it without resentment.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Active conflict or recent resentment: truth questions can be used to reproach.
- In a group, if anyone does not feel free to say no or there are dynamics of pressure.
- With caution if there is intense jealousy or an affair that has not been worked through.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign a short game of 20-30 minutes, at the Mild level, with no scoreboard or forfeits.
- Agree before playing that anyone can pass without explaining why.
- Afterwards, spend five minutes talking about which moment they enjoyed most.
For the next session
- Which question or dare made you laugh or feel closer?
- Did anyone pass on a turn? How was it received?
- Would you like to play again? What would you change?
Sex cards
Goal
Offers erotic and connection challenges as cards sorted by level, making it easier to introduce novelty gradually and by agreement.
Indicated
- Couples in a sexual routine who want novelty but don't know where to start.
- When one partner usually takes the initiative and it would help to share it.
- To practise asking for, accepting and turning down suggestions explicitly.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Pain during sex or sexual dysfunction with a possible medical cause that has not been assessed: refer for medical assessment first.
- Coercion or a power imbalance in the relationship.
- With caution if there is marked performance anxiety: keep to the Mild level and challenges with no orgasm goal.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign one or two game sessions a week at the Mild level.
- Allow any card to be discarded without justification and another drawn.
- Ask them to talk afterwards about which card they enjoyed and which they would discard in future.
For the next session
- Which card did you find most enjoyable, and why?
- How did you feel when you discarded a card, or saw one discarded?
- What would you like to try at the next level, if you want to move up?
Sex roulette
Goal
Randomly combines place, body area, type of touch and time to introduce variety and shift the focus from the outcome to the experience.
Indicated
- Highly scripted sexuality, or one that always follows the same sequence.
- To ease the pressure of deciding: chance shares out the initiative.
- As an intermediate step after sensate focus exercises.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Pain or sexual dysfunction with a medical cause that has not been assessed.
- Unprocessed sexual trauma: chance may suggest areas or types of touch that trigger distress.
- With caution if there is performance anxiety: use it with no genitals and no points.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign it with no points or forfeits, to avoid the competitive element.
- Start with no genitals and short times; agree that anyone can spin again.
- Ask them to notice which sensations arise rather than whether it “goes well”.
For the next session
- Which combination did you find most pleasurable or surprising?
- Was there one you preferred to change? How did you communicate it?
- Did you notice a difference from not having a specific goal?
Sex dice
Goal
Suggests random actions, places and durations for short, light-hearted play, making it easier to share the initiative.
Indicated
- Couples who need to recover the playful side of being together.
- When the initiative always falls to the same person.
- For short encounters that need no preparation.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Pain or sexual dysfunction with a medical cause that has not been assessed.
- Active conflict, or one partner pressuring the other to play.
- With caution if keeping score creates competition or a sense of being tested.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign short games with no points or forfeits.
- Agree that any roll can be repeated without explanation.
- At the end, talk about which roll each person enjoyed.
For the next session
- Which roll did you enjoy most?
- Who suggested playing, and how did that invitation feel?
- Did you feel free to reroll?
Position generator
Goal
Suggests random positions to broaden the repertoire and open a conversation about comfort, pace and bodily preferences.
Indicated
- Couples with a limited repertoire who want to explore.
- When there are bodily changes (pregnancy, postpartum, injuries already assessed) and comfortable positions are needed.
- To talk about what feels comfortable and what doesn't, using a concrete prompt.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Pain during sex or sexual dysfunction without prior medical assessment.
- During sensate focus stages in which the couple has agreed not to have intercourse.
- With caution if there is performance anxiety centred on penetration.
How to assign and work with it
- Ask them to look at the suggestions together and choose only those both partners mark as comfortable.
- Remind them that any position can be stopped, adapted or discarded at any time.
- Suggest they talk afterwards about the physical and emotional comfort of each one.
For the next session
- Which position did you find most comfortable, and why?
- Was there one you discarded? How did you decide?
- How did you communicate during the encounter to adjust the pace or position?
Gay sex positions
Goal
Position generator designed for male couples, useful for broadening the repertoire and talking about roles, preferences and comfort without heteronormative scripts.
Indicated
- Male couples who want to explore new positions.
- When roles have become fixed without being discussed and it helps to revisit them.
- To talk about physical comfort, pace and preparation.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Pain during sex or sexual dysfunction without prior medical assessment.
- Pressure to take on a role that one partner does not want.
- During stages in which the couple has agreed not to have intercourse.
How to assign and work with it
- Review the suggestions together and keep only those both mark as comfortable.
- Agree that roles can be switched or not, depending on what each wants at the time.
- Talk afterwards about the physical and emotional comfort of each position.
For the next session
- Which position did you find most comfortable or pleasurable?
- Have you talked about roles? What did you discover?
- Is there anything you would like to adjust next time?
Erotic goose game
Goal
Turn-based erotic board game that combines chance, conversation and touch, with an unhurried pace that encourages anticipation and shared play.
Indicated
- Couples looking for a long, unhurried encounter.
- To bring back play and anticipation into their sex life.
- When it helps to share the initiative through turns.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Active conflict or resentment: a long game may turn into an argument.
- Pain or sexual dysfunction with a medical cause that has not been assessed.
- With caution if either person experiences chance as a loss of control.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign one game on a day with plenty of time, at the Mild level.
- Agree that any square can be skipped without explanation.
- Suggest a short conversation at the end about what they enjoyed most.
For the next session
- Which square or moment do you remember most fondly?
- How did you experience the pace of the game?
- Did anyone skip a square? How was it handled?
Long-distance games
Goal
Sustains erotic and emotional connection in long-distance relationships through synchronised challenges in stages, from connecting to planning the next time together.
Indicated
- Couples living apart because of work, studies or migration.
- Periods of temporary separation in which they want to keep intimacy alive.
- To keep anticipation going and plan reunions.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Intense mistrust or jealousy: the challenges may be experienced as control or surveillance.
- If either person is not comfortable with intimate content through devices.
- Pressure to send intimate images or messages: the exercise does not require them.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign one or two encounters a week, at an agreed time and without interruptions.
- Start with the connecting and warming-up stages, with no points.
- Remind them that sharing images is not necessary and that anyone can stop.
- End each encounter with the next-encounter stage and note down a concrete plan.
For the next session
- At what moment did you feel closest despite the distance?
- What plan did you note down for your reunion?
- Did anything about the long-distance format make you uncomfortable?
Massage roulette
Goal
Structures erotic massage by body area, technique and time, with turns at giving and receiving. Its sensory stages make it possible to assign sensate focus exercises progressively.
Indicated
- Low sexual desire or desire discrepancy in the couple.
- Performance anxiety or outcome-focused sexuality.
- To reconnect with touch and pleasure without pressure for intercourse or orgasm.
- After a period of physical distance.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Unprocessed sexual trauma: structured touch may trigger memories; work on this in session first.
- Pain or sexual dysfunction with a medical cause that has not been assessed: refer for medical assessment first.
- Active conflict or coercion: physical contact should not be used to resolve a conflict.
How to assign and work with it
- Start with stage 1, with no breasts or genitals, and agree not to have intercourse during stages 1 and 2.
- Assign three 20-30 minute encounters a week, taking turns at giving and receiving.
- Ask the receiving partner to guide with words or with their hand and to rate their comfort from 1 to 5.
- Only move to the next stage when both partners feel comfortable with the current one.
For the next session
- What sensations came up when receiving without having to do anything in return?
- How did you find guiding your partner, or letting yourself be guided?
- What thoughts came up when you agreed there would be no intercourse?
30-day challenge
Goal
Sets a daily challenge for 30 days, building from lower to higher intensity, with a daily rating from 1 to 5. Helps build a habit of intimacy and track how it develops.
Indicated
- Couples who want to consolidate progress made in therapy.
- When intimacy has been pushed aside and it helps to give it a daily space.
- To spot patterns from the daily pulse.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Times of heavy external load (a new baby, grief, work stress): a daily challenge may feel like an obligation.
- Active conflict or a large, unaddressed desire discrepancy: it may increase pressure.
- With caution if there is perfectionism: skipping a day does not invalidate the challenge.
How to assign and work with it
- Agree in session that skipping or postponing a day is allowed.
- Ask each person to record the daily pulse from 1 to 5 on their own.
- Review the highest- and lowest-scoring days in session.
For the next session
- Which days did you score highest, and what did they have in common?
- Was it hard to keep the habit going? What made it easier or harder?
- Which challenge would you like to keep once the 30 days are over?
Erogenous zones map
Goal
Offers a map of erogenous zones and a game for exploring your partner's body and rating each area from 1 to 5, encouraging specific feedback.
Indicated
- Couples who don't know what their partner likes, or have never asked.
- To practise clear, non-judgemental feedback.
- As a sensory exercise that extends pleasure beyond the genitals.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Unprocessed sexual trauma: bodily exploration may trigger distress.
- Marked negative body image: assess in session first and start with neutral areas.
- Active conflict or coercion.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign it with no genitals at first, with turns of 10-15 minutes per person.
- Ask the receiving partner to give a rating from 1 to 5 and one sentence about what they feel.
- Remind them that any area can be left out entirely, without explanation.
For the next session
- Which area surprised you by how good it felt?
- How did you find giving your partner a rating?
- Was it hard to say that you didn't like something?
Self-exploration wheel
Goal
Individual self-exploration exercise that suggests an area, a way of touching, a resource, a time and a focus of attention, so the person can get to know their own sensations without anyone else watching.
Indicated
- When a person doesn't know what feels pleasurable to them or finds it hard to express.
- Arousal or orgasm difficulties that have already been medically assessed.
- As preparation for sensate focus exercises as a couple.
- To work on the relationship with one's own body.
Use with caution or not indicated
- Unprocessed sexual trauma: self-exploration may trigger memories; provide support in session first.
- Pain or discomfort with a medical cause that has not been assessed.
- With caution if there is guilt or very restrictive beliefs about masturbation: work on these first.
How to assign and work with it
- Assign two or three 15-20 minute slots a week, in a private space and without interruptions.
- Start with no genitals, focusing on breathing and sensations, not on arousal.
- Ask them to briefly note which sensations they noticed and which thoughts came up.
For the next session
- What sensations did you discover that you didn't know about?
- What thoughts or emotions came up during the exercise?
- Is there anything you would like to share with your partner, if you have one?
Privacy
The games run in your client's browser. Answers are not sent to ViveLaVita: they stay on their device and only leave it if your client prints, copies or sends their sheet through their own channel. The exercise link never reaches our server either.
Directory of professionals
If you are a sex therapist or psychologist, you can be listed in our directory and create exercises from your private area.
These games are not a substitute for therapy.
Reviewed by Rocío MoñinoPsychologist and sexologist
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to register to use it?
No. The generator works without an account. If you are in our directory, your private area opens it with your email already filled in.
What data about my clients does ViveLaVita receive?
None. The link only carries the exercise settings, and their answers stay on their device. They only leave it if your client chooses to print, copy or send their sheet.
How do I get my client's sheet?
Your client prints it, saves it as a PDF or sends it from their own email or messaging app. If you include your email in the exercise, it appears already filled in.
Does it replace therapy?
No. These are exercises to do between sessions. Each guide states when not to use them, for example with active conflict, coercion or unprocessed sexual trauma.
