Sexuality and desire in menopause: why it's not an end, but a change

If you want to watch the full interview, you can click on this link to watch it on YouTube.

For a long time, menopause has been experienced almost as if it were the end of something: the end of desire, the end of sexuality, even the end of feeling good about oneself. To understand if there is any truth in this idea, we spoke with Sofía Mitroliou, psychologist and psychoeducator trained in systemic and family therapy, expert in sexual education and project technician at the Fundación Psicología Sin Fronteras, on the Vivelavita podcast.

Myths about menopause and sexuality that should be debunked

“Sexuality disappears”

According to Sofía Mitroliou, one of the most widespread myths is thinking that menopause represents the end of youth, femininity, or sexual life. The reality, she clarifies, is very different: menopause is not an end, but a transition that can come with physical and emotional changes, but also with greater self-awareness, personal freedom and ability to redefine priorities.

Another very common myth is thinking that sexuality simply disappears. What is observed in consultations is that sexuality changes and evolves, as it does in all stages of life.

Desire does not necessarily disappear, it simply finds new ways to express itself.

“Desire has an expiration date”

There is also the belief that one must "take advantage" of sexuality before menopause, as if enjoying sex had a time limit. Sofía Mitroliou is clear about this: sexual desire does not inevitably disappear with age.

What changes is its way of manifesting itself and the needs that accompany it. As years go by, many people develop a greater understanding of themselves, a clearer communication about their preferences and a freer relationship with their sexuality. This can translate into more satisfying, although different, experiences compared to previous stages.

How desire and sexuality change during this stage

Menopause can bring physical changes such as less vaginal lubrication, changes in sensitivity or modifications in sexual desire. Emotional changes can also occur related to mood, self-esteem, or body perception.

The most important thing, according to Sofía Mitroliou, is to understand that these changes do not mean that something is wrong: they are part of a natural process of the body's adaptation and do not imply the end of sexual life.

From a sexological perspective, it is more a transformation of sexuality.

Many women discover new forms of pleasure, a greater connection with their own needs and a sexuality less focused on external expectations and more on personal well-being.

Experiencing this stage without guilt: beyond penetration

To experience this stage without guilt, Sofía Mitroliou highlights several keys:

• Normalize the changes.
• Maintain open communication with the partner.
• Explore new forms of intimacy.
• Seek professional support if difficulties arise that cause discomfort.

An especially important point is to remember that sexuality goes far beyond penetration: it includes affection, complicity, caresses, desire, exploration, and shared pleasure. Understanding this allows menopause to become an opportunity to rediscover intimacy from a broader and more enriching perspective.

In practice, adapting can mean very different things depending on each couple: spending more time on intimate encounters, incorporating new forms of stimulation, exploring eroticism from other perspectives, or simply prioritizing emotional connection.

Sofía Mitroliou gives a simple example: a couple who notice they have more energy in the morning can simply adapt their intimate encounters to that time of day, rather than forcing the previous routine.

Intimacy is not measured by frequency or by meeting certain expectations, but by the quality of the connection between the people.

Couple communication: the key to staying connected

Menopause does not only affect the person experiencing it: it also influences the couple's dynamics, as any major life change does.

It requires adaptation, mutual understanding and new ways of relating to each other.

At times, feelings of misunderstanding, insecurity, or frustration may arise if changes are not properly addressed, but it can also be an opportunity to strengthen the bond and develop a deeper intimacy.

Communication is, in Sofía Mitroliou's words, a fundamental element: speaking openly about needs, fears, desires, or difficulties allows both partners to feel heard and supported. It is not just about talking about sexuality, but sharing how each person is experiencing this stage.

Practical advice for couples in this stage

When asked for concrete recommendations, Sofía Mitroliou acknowledges that it is difficult to generalize because each couple is unique and the communication they have is not the same. Even so, she highlights some general ideas:

• Psychoeducation before entering this stage: informing oneself in advance helps to experience the changes with less fear.
• Empathy and respect towards the changes the other person is experiencing.

Adapt to the day to day, understanding that the person next to us is still the same, although they have to adapt to real changes.

If you need to contact a sexual health professional from Vive la Vita, we can recommend a specialized professional in your area and resolve any doubts you may have in this new stage.

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