Societal Beauty Standards and Sexuality: How Does Our Relationship with Our Body Affect Pleasure?

Have you ever turned off the light during an intimate encounter purely out of insecurity? Or have you changed positions in bed not for comfort, but for fear of how your body looks? Welcome back to our blog. Today, we address a topic as real as it is necessary: how body mandates and aesthetic violence sabotage our ability to enjoy.

We had the immense pleasure of discussing this with Elena Crespi, psychologist and sexologist, in a revealing interview on our podcast. Together, we discovered why we feel so pressured by physical appearance and what practical steps we can take to regain pleasure without guilt or comparisons.

You can watch and listen to the full talk on our channel via the following link:

The Iceberg of Aesthetic Violence

Aesthetic pressure is not a mere superficial frivolity; it’s a profound articulation of beliefs, obligations, and social mandates that dictate how we should be. Elena Crespi explains that this phenomenon acts similarly to an iceberg (a metaphor inspired by Amnesty International’s work on domestic violence):

• At the tip: What we see obviously; blatant discriminations or risk behaviors that harm health.
• In the invisible base: Mandates, subtle suggestions, and the imposition of an unattainable beauty model (especially now with AI-generated references).

This idealized canon is mostly personified by the white, cis, heterosexual, young, thin, and pretty woman under Northern European standards.

Can you feel pleasure with your mind on the mirror?

When we are educated to be an "object of desire" exposed to the gaze of others —a structure fueled by patriarchal and capitalist alliances that profit from our insecurity—, we transfer that constant alertness to the bed.

Can you enjoy like this? Yes, but from a tiny place. If you're focused on which light hides your belly or if your breast sags, you disconnect from the full presence that orgasm and sensory enjoyment require. We end up losing.

From the Corset to Digital Retouching: The Business of Keeping Us "Entertained"

While women spend huge amounts of time and money on depilation, hairdressing, surgeries, or workouts solely aimed at slimming down, we stop focusing on other important spheres of society.

Men are educated as subjects of desire with agency; women are pushed to believe that the mature body (with stretch marks, cellulite, or wrinkles) loses its erotic capital.

Critical Thinking to Reconnect with Enjoyment

To stop fighting with the mirror and teach new generations to inhabit the body as a source of health and enjoyment, the secret lies in critical thinking:

• Care, not mistreat: Understanding healthy eating and physical movement for long-term physical well-being, not as compensatory punishment to lose weight.
• Embrace body diversity: Accepting that there are different body types and that bodies change naturally after pregnancies or over the years.

It has been a genuine pleasure to chat with Elena Crespi and open this much-needed melon so that, once and for all, our minds explode and we start changing things in our everyday life.

The body is not a list of defects to correct; it's your map to enjoyment.

And to you on the other side, are you encouraged to stop fighting with the mirror and start enjoying? Tell us in the comments if you have ever felt this barrier in your intimacy. Don't forget to subscribe to our blog and follow us on all our social networks so you don't miss future episodes. An amazing season with top guests is coming!

If you want more and wish to deepen your intimate well-being, you can contact Elena Crespi, discover her therapies, and learn more about her books and projects through her official website elenacrespi.com

💜 Your well-being is our reason for being; thank you for letting us be a part of it.