Couples' Question Game: Truth or Curiosity

For any relationship, play is a perfect ally to work on complicity and communicate with your partner. From VivelaVita we have created "Truth or Curiosity", a game inspired by the classic "Truth or Dare". In this article, we tell you why it works, how to play it, and what type of questions you can use to get to know each other a bit better each time.

Why play as a couple? psychological benefits of conscious play in an adult relationship

Studies on play have been based more on the childhood stage, but for some years, research has been conducted on the adult population, finding significant benefits. There are articles based on couples and others in social groups; in this case, we will focus on couples. 

The psychological benefits: 

• Revives the feeling of the early stages of the relationship.
• Increases satisfaction.
• Enhances the experience of positive emotions.
• Helps to manage stress.
• Helps to resolve interpersonal tension.
• Improves communication.
• Increases the durability of the relationship. 

These benefits are backed by research presented by specialists in the field from different universities, such as psychologist Cheryl Harasymchuk or Key Brauer. You can consult their studies in the bibliography. Nonetheless, it is expected that gradually more results will emerge on this type of influence between play and couples.  

What is "truth or curiosity" and how does it differ from "truth or dare"

It is a question game for couples (all types of couples, of all orientations, can play). The questions open communication between the two people so they can talk about their sexuality, their intimacy... discussing a theme that is often challenging or more taboo for people. 

The way to play is simple: 

• Each person, in turn, chooses between two options (truth or curiosity). 
• Truth Cards: in this type of card, the person has to answer an intimate question posed by their partner with sincerity. 
• Curiosity Cards: here, nobody answers, instead, they ask about the other’s tastes, sensations, or fantasies. 
• For any intimate situation, trust and clear boundaries are needed, so there is always the option to say "pass" to avoid answering one or more questions that they do not wish to respond to. Nobody is obligated. 

The intention of the game is never to embarrass or judge the other, but to get to know each other better.

The difference with the classic game is that there are no dares, nothing you’re "obliged" to do before talking to your partner. The idea is to share something personal, from less to more intense questions, with lighter ones at the beginning and deeper ones as they advance in level. 

Who is this game for?

• Couples in routine situations with discomfort: a closer and dynamic space to talk about desire.
• First dates with someone you are getting to know: depending on the intentions you have and the level of depth you wish to reach with the person, you may want to use this type of game. Knowing someone, even for a non-formal relationship, if erotic relationships are to take place, requires a minimal knowledge of the other person for the erotic encounter to be more successful.
• Any couple that wants to deepen their bond: whether you want to try something new with your partner, feel the routine in your relationship, etc., generating complicity in the bond will always increase pleasant sensations in people. 

Questions to get to know each other better: sensory, emotional, and fantasy

The idea promoted by VivelaVita is to divide the questions into three blocks (sensory, emotional, and fantasy), ordered from less to more intensity. Here are some question ideas you can use for the Truth or Curiosity game: 

• Sensory (The skin): 
  • What type of caress disconnects you from the world in two seconds?
  • Do you prefer to be touched slowly and with intention, or more quickly?
  • Is there any area of your body that you feel is undervalued by me?
  • What smell or sound is most evocative in intimacy for you?
  • If you could choose the temperature, lighting, and music of our next night together, what would it be like?
• Emotional (The connection):
  • What memory of ours still excites you when you think about it?
  • At what time of day do you feel most receptive to desire?
  • Is there something I do without realizing it that makes you feel very desired?
  • What word or gesture from me makes you feel most secure to open up with me?
  • What do you value most about how we talk about sex with each other?
• Fantasy (The imagination): 
  • If you could live a movie scene together, which one would you choose?
  • Is there something you’re curious about trying, but you’ve never said out loud?
  • If you had to describe your ideal fantasy in one sentence, what would it be?
  • What role or character would you like to play for a night?
  • Is there any place outside the house where you’d like something to happen between us?

How to integrate the game into your dates and turn it into a couple’s habit

• Choose a moment without rush. This type of dynamic works best in a home date, with time ahead and without screens in between.
• Set the mood. What kind of environment do you like for intimacy? Warm lighting, some music, perhaps a glass of wine? Any detail that marks a different time from the rest of the day helps the game feel like a personal space.
• Start with the sensory. The questions can change, but the order of the categories should be from less to more, so you need to start with the sensory questions. 

• Make it a monthly date. To make it an activity you internalize, it is not recommended to do it only once in isolation. Having a monthly date to dedicate a space to conversation will be ideal for it to take effect on the relationship.

• Close with a brief reflection. Ending the conversation with questions like "what surprised you?" or "what would you like to repeat?" helps to translate what was discussed into real actions afterward.

We hope this game helps you to connect with your bond, you have fun, and that it is useful. 

💜 Your well-being is our reason for being; thank you for letting us be part of it.